Discomfort is NOT the Same as Failure

A couple weeks ago I was dragged to a spin class. Okay, fine. I wasn’t dragged, I was kindly invited by a generous friend as her guest, and as an eternal optimist, I responded to the text with a “Sure!” …and was sure that I could totally kill this.

And then I nearly DIED for the entirety of the first fifteen minutes. The truth is, doing poorly at things is not something I tolerate well. I like to excel, I love how it feels to do well at a particular thing. I enjoy the feeling of being good at something, at expertise and knowledge and success. That first fifteen minutes of spin class was anything BUT success. To be honest, I was on the edge of tears, I felt like a failure, I felt embarrassed as I had to sit more than others, as my lack of choreography knowledge made me feel like a fool and I considered walking out.

I didn’t leave, and while my form and my body did not magically look like a spin instructor’s by the end of the class, I found my rhythm. And I liked it. Was it hard? MY GOODNESS YES. It was hard AND fun. If you have a friend who regularly does spin, know they are one of the strongest humans. In fact, go tell that friend you’re proud of her!

Discomfort doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it means you’re finally doing something new.

Many times, we interpret struggle as a sign we’re going in the wrong direction. We assume that if something doesn’t come easily, it must not be for us. But growth rarely announces itself with confidence. More often, it shows up as awkwardness, humility, and the choice to keep going when quitting would feel safer.

As we step into a new year, with excitement and uncertainty about what’s to come, it’s tempting to only pursue goals we know we can win. We love to stick to what we’re already good at, where our competence protects our confidence.

But what if this year isn’t about proving yourself? What if it’s about becoming stronger, steadier and more resilient. Maybe this year is about pushing through even when, especially when, the process feels uncomfortable?

This year, commit to stay present in the hard parts, resisting the urge to bow out early, and trust that capability and expertise are most often built, not discovered.